Ways to piss off the espada
by misuto58
Summary: all in the title! XD


**Ways to piss off the espada**

**Authors note: I do not own bleach at all! or any other things that belong to other people in here. Also if want me to write more send in ideas of who to do next.**

**Nnoitra**

1. Hand him a bowl of soup and ask him if he needs a smaller spoon.

2. threaten to castrate him.

3. ask him if he's trying to compensate for something with a sword that size.

4. call him spoon man.

5. cut off his hood.

6. have little Nel bug him for a whole week.

**Grimmjow**

1. when ever he does something bad spray him with water and say" bad kitty."

2. fill his room with wind up mice.

3. give him a cat and dim the lights saying "you two have fun."

4. when he asks you to make him dinner give him a dead fish and say" bone appatite."

5. ask him if he has ever tried to eat Hallibel.

6. start thoughing white yarn balls at him yelling snowball fight!

**Baragon**

1. tell him Aizen is superior in every way.

2. ask him if he wears diapers.

3. Yell in his ear evertime you talk to him.

4. call him an old fart.

5. ask him if he remembers his grandkids and when he says no yell, "Noooooo! Grandpa forgot me again!"

6. ask him if he takes as many naps as Stark**. **

**Ulquiorra**

1. everytime he walks in the room play the batman theme song.

2. lock him in a dark room and ask him if he sees better.

3. ask him if he sleeps upsidedown.

4. jump on his back like a bull rider and grab onto his horn saying "yee hah."

5. dress like robin and follow him everywhere he goes.

6. ask him if he's part vampire.

7. call him emo and buy him some makeup for his birthday.

8. spike his tea with vodka and watch the fun.

9. put on a sad news story and some lynkin park and see if he starts cutting.

_wait do espadas have birthdays?_

**Szayelapparro**

1. sing barby girl when you see him.

2. say you and him should have a makeover party.

3. give him a gay pride t-shirt.

4. dye his hair black.

5. when you're in his lab touch every button you can.

6. ask him if he ever plays his dolls.

**Aizen**

(Warning if you piss off Aizen it may result in death!)

1. When you're at a meeting play the I'm a little tea cup song while they're passing out tea.

2. drug Aizens tea with pot.

3. Cut off his curl and yell that you've got his manhood.

4. tell him about Yaio between him and Gin.

5. ask him when the heck did he get contacts!

6. ask him why Barragon has a crown and he doesn't.

7. complain you can't sleep because your afraid Szayel will rape you.

8. complain you can't sleep because Grimmjow meows all night.

**(okay I know the title says ways to piss off the espada but I'm gona add a few more characters like soul reapers, maybe Ichigo and his friends, or even some of the visords and if you don't like it and like to whine then cry me a river so I can try out my new water ski's.)**

**Myuri Kurosuchi**

1. try to pull his mask off whenever you can.

2. make him go as a clown for halloween.

3. send him constent hell butterflies telling him he's Bill Nye.

4. throw holy water on him yelling "The power of Christ compells you"

5. make him do the charamelldansen.

6. wipe off his make up durring a captains meeting and blame Toshiro.

7. tell him he's uquiorras ugly twin.

**Stark**

1. Put a surround sound system in his room and play death metal music at the loudest setting constantly.

2. Replace his sleeping pills with sugar pills.

3. shave his beard.

4. braid his hair.

5 tazer him every time he falls asleep.

6. put crack in his sleepy time tea.

**Gin**

1. poke him with Shinso until he opens his eyes.

2. Have Wonderwise follow him all day.

3. duct tape his mouth shut.

4. dare him not to smile a whole day.

5. GLOMP HIM!

6. tape his eyes open and say"Look he's finally American!"

7. call him a pedophile.

**Hallibel **(Probably spelled that wrong)

1. sing the jaws theme when you see her.

2. tell her to get a bra.

3. glue a shark fin to her back.

4. hang her favorite food on a fishing pole in front of her.

5. flood her room.

6. fill her room with fish.

_Authors Note: Who else would you guys like to mess with and if you want me to keep up the progress give me characters and lots of em. You can review as you like and say what you want, just try to keep it clean...JUST KIDDING I DON'T F***ING CARE! Also Ice DragonI was trying to figure out why I can't respond to your review I also wanted to read some of your stories. _**  
**


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